im such an idiot!! wtf is wrong with me?

i guess its true what people say about not knowing what’s precious to you until it’s gone.

i miss you and yes, i did dump you, and yes, i did say i didnt care about breaking up with you but it took me a month to realize that I DO CARE. you’re not even that great of a boyfriend. correction: you suck as a boyfriend. but still, there’s something about you that i can’t forget. even though you dont text me back or you won’t call me, i don’t care. i just want to be able to sit next to you and know that you belong to me.

i saw you today and for a second it’s like nothing’s changed. i talk to you like i always have and you talk to me like you always have. i guess it feels like nothing’s changed because we weren’t even a touchy-feely couple to begin with. we never held hands in public or linked arms or anything. and it made me so happy when you remembered that i love ajisen and desserts. it may seem like something so little, but it makes me happy to know that you haven’t forgotten about me yet. it makes me happy that sometimes you think of me too. so today felt like any other day with you. and maybe thats why i’ve got this feeling of hope inside me; hope that we can get back together again. yet a part of me also knows that you just dont like me that much. you dont like me enough to be in a relationship with me.

we rushed things the first time. we didn’t take time to get to know each other. i dont mind being friends…for now. i want you back.

what’s the deal with me and these guys? guy a dated me but didnt like me and i end up liking him the most. guy b is overly-emotional and that puts too much pressure on me. guy c is a player who can lie to me to my face. yet guy b and guy c are the ones that i know would be willing to date me. so why would i end up liking the one guy who doesnt like me?

maybe our timing was totally off. after all, you just got out of a relationship with your ex-girlfriend not long before. and i know how much you care about relationships. if you like someone, then you like them. you’re not the type of guy who plays around. i like that about you. i like knowing that you’re a guy who takes responsibility for his actions. i like how honest you are.

i wonder if you ever really liked me?

maybe at the beginning you didn’t. but as time went by, i wonder if you started to feel something for me.

is it too late now?